I’m not on a transplant list. Why? Well sit back and prepare for a long list of excuses.
The major reason is very simple, I only go to about 50% of my treatments. If you are going through renal failure, or know someone who is, you must be wondering how the heck I’m even typing this. I should be dead, right? Well that’s where a bit of luck on my part comes in. Though my kidneys don’t actually clean the toxins from the liquids I drink, amazingly, my kidneys are alive enough to push out about as much water waste a day as a normal person. Sadly, its pretty much just water. So I can easily go a week without feeling bad at all. Unfortunately, the toxins build up in my body and do damage to it and blah, blah, blah. Yeah I know, this is an important and even life-threatening situation in all reality. Now to the part you have all been waiting for; the why.
Why do I do it? What could possibly possess me to put myself in such danger and risk ever being on a transplant list? Time. Sounds so simple doesn’t it? Well before I explain myself lets walk a week in my shoes:
Wake up, go to dialysis, maybe eat something while at dialysis, go home, sleep until the next morning, maybe see my wife for 5 minutes.
Wake up late in the day, be tired and in a haze all day, have no energy to do anything but have to do house work, try to spend time with my wife, eat, sleep
Same as Tuesday
Same as Wednesday
The best day in the entire week! Why? Because I didn’t have treatment the day before so I feel amazing! I try to cram as much stuff in the day as I can.
There is my week. Try a couple of years of this day in and day out and see how depressed you get.
So I skip a day here and there so I can spend time with my wife, get some house work done, and even work on some personal things of my own. The doctors can’t seem to understand why I would do this. Well, as I try to explain to them, unlike your other patients I am not seventy years old. I haven’t had a full and productive life yet. Besides, skipping treatment means I can be near my wife instead of asleep in the next room leaving her all alone for a week. I call this trading days for days. I get clear, coherent days now in the short-term and I lose several day off of my life in the long run. Is it worth it? Well, to me it is.
Doing this has gotten me put on the black list. Until I can go to treatment for around 6 months consecutively they won’t even think about putting me on the darn list. Even if they did its a two to five year wait on average for my blood type.
That is the easiest way I know how to explain it all. There is a lot more to it but hey, why explain it all at once? That’s what a blog is for, right?
Keep being awesome,