Still here, sorta

Wow, for some reason this blog has gotten a LOT of traffic today. I even got a few new followers, and here I was thinking about dropping this blog. Anyway, I do have a few other projects that are pulling me every which-way so I will be reevaluating what I want to do for the upcoming year. I might just merge this with Dining on Dialysis to make things more simple.

-Snow Wolf

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Posted by on December 29, 2012 in Uncategorized


Silence is Awesome

Today I did something kind of odd.

My wife asked me to go out and do the shopping since she is laid up with gout.

When I stepped outside it was wonderful. The temperature felt nice and cool and the sky was dotted with bright white fluffy clouds. It was so nice that I decided to clean out the car so I could drive with the windows down. The rid across town to Whole Foods felt so, spiritual. I don’t know how else to explain that. While I was driving I felt so connected to everything. Though, it was very hard not to continually stare up at the sky while I was driving.

Anyway, when I got to the store I put in my headset and turned on my music while I went shopping. While I was in the store a sales associate asked me if I needed help. I just shook my head no instead of saying no. The sales associate took that as I must be mute or deaf. I know this sounds odd but I went with it. I went around the entire store pretending to be mute. I even wrote my deli order down on paper.

I can’t explain why but not speaking seemed so freeing.

Just an odd though I want to share.

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Posted by on September 10, 2012 in Blog Post


The Laundromat

Well today was fun. We took all the laundry that I was behind on doing to the laundromat. It wasn’t all that much but we decided that there was no reason why I should spend all day, a non-dialysis day, doing the laundry when I could do it in just an hour and half there.

On the drive there the wife told me about another dream she had last night. Not that I can share any of the details with you, but still.

The laundromat sits in a very tiny strip mall. So small that there is only one other shop and its a consignment store, or as I like to call them “Junk Stores”. We did have a bit of a surprise when we arrived as we saw a man with a Feri Tradition pentacle tattooed on his arm. Neither of us said anything to him though. We unloaded the clothing into the washers and then the wife went off to pay some bills. I stayed behind and tended the wash and played with my iPhone.

While I sat there I noticed the man with the tattoo walk into the laundromat. He checked his laundry and set down with a book, I thought about talking to him but decided not to. I guess I was surprised to see another Pagan where I was. I guess I should note that I was in the next county over with is not part of the metro, its a bit more rural. I’m not sure if I just wanted to talk to another Pagan who I just happened apon doing every day things instead of being at an event together or if I even really cared at all.

I thought about this for a while. Are we so rare that I should want to talk t every Pagan I see outside of gatherings or should I realize that we are growing so large that seeing other Pagans could just become an everyday norm?

That was most of the day really. We went grocery shopping but that’s about all.

Keep being awesome,

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Posted by on August 29, 2012 in Blog Post


Moving in the rain

Today the wife and I woke up late, around 1 o’clock. We decided that we would spend the day together. We got dressed, left the house and were off to lunch. Lunch went alright. Mostly I sat there, ate, and listened to her explain a dream she had last night. Just before we got up from the booth I got a phone call from one of our coven-mates, who is also a cousin to my wife. Turns out today was the day that her daughter, a good friend of ours, was moving into her new apartment and they needed some help with the moving. We readily agreed because that’s just what family, blood or otherwise, does.

We get there and it’s not all that bad. Fast-forward an hour and I am already burning up. This goes on from two until about sunset. Other people had came, helped, and gone by then. Though the lovely thing about this was when we went to the storage unit to get the rest of her things the Goddess just decides to let all the rain that we should have gotten during the summer lose at once. There we are, hot, exhausted, and now soaked.

Not much to tell really. We came home, ordered Chinese take-out and watched some cop drama that involved an Indian reservation. I have no idea what the title is but I remember seeing the preview for it a couple of months back.

I know this isn’t the most interesting thing I have written but I am trying to force myself to write once a day.

Keep being awesome,

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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Blog Post


How I have screwed myself

I’m not on a transplant list. Why? Well sit back and prepare for a long list of excuses.

The major reason is very simple, I only go to about 50% of my treatments. If you are going through renal failure, or know someone who is, you must be wondering how the heck I’m even typing this. I should be dead, right? Well that’s where a bit of luck on my part comes in. Though my kidneys don’t actually clean the toxins from the liquids I drink, amazingly, my kidneys are alive enough to push out about as much water waste a day as a normal person. Sadly, its pretty much just water. So I can easily go a week without feeling bad at all. Unfortunately, the toxins build up in my body and do damage to it and blah, blah, blah. Yeah I know, this is an important and even life-threatening situation in all reality. Now to the part you have all been waiting for; the why.

Why do I do it? What could possibly possess me to put myself in such danger and risk ever being on a transplant list? Time. Sounds so simple doesn’t it? Well before I explain myself lets walk a week in my shoes:


Wake up, go to dialysis, maybe eat something while at dialysis, go home, sleep until the next morning, maybe see my wife for 5 minutes.


Wake up late in the day, be tired and in a haze all day, have no energy to do anything but have to do house work, try to spend time with my wife, eat, sleep


Same as Tuesday


Same as Wednesday


See Tuesday


See Wednesday


The best day in the entire week! Why? Because I didn’t have treatment the day before so I feel amazing! I try to cram as much stuff in the day as I can.

There is my week. Try a couple of years of this day in and day out and see how depressed you get.

So I skip a day here and there so I can spend time with my wife, get some house work done, and even work on some personal things of my own. The doctors can’t seem to understand why I would do this. Well, as I try to explain to them, unlike your other patients I am not seventy years old. I haven’t had a full and productive life yet. Besides, skipping treatment means I can be near my wife instead of asleep in the next room leaving her all alone for a week. I call this trading days for days. I get clear, coherent days now in the short-term and I lose several day off of my life in the long run. Is it worth it? Well, to me it is.

Doing this has gotten me put on the black list. Until I can go to treatment for around 6 months consecutively they won’t even think about putting me on the darn list. Even if they did its a two to five year wait on average for my blood type.

That is the easiest way I know how to explain it all. There is a lot more to it but hey, why explain it all at once? That’s what a blog is for, right?

Keep being awesome,

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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Blog Post


Another update

Well lets see, I had my catheter removed and my new access is working just fine. I got over my infection and I am feeling better. Other than that I have seen a therapist because, well, life kind of sucks now. Though to be honest it’s not helping at all. I’m starting to think I’m someone’s paycheck.

The wife finally got a job thank the Gods! She is a docent at a local historic home. It’s only a part-time job but at least its in her field and she loves it.

I had my 27th birthday last week. My friends and I celebrated about a week early because two of my other friends have birthdays that are close to mine. It was great having people over. Usually our house seems so dark and quiet. It was nice to see some life in here.

That’s about the only good news I can think of.

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Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Blog Post


The waiting game

Not much going on around here. I just spent the day cleaning the house so I can do nothing but play Guild Wars 2 all weekend. That’s about it….

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Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Blog Post